Barrier #1 – Conflicting Priorities
It is said to be impossible to serve two Masters. It’s the same with priorities… there cannot be two first priorities. One will dominate the other. You’ll serve one, and ignore the other – likely serving the one that is easier, more fun, sexier, etc. Our priorities conflict every time we try and squeeze multiple activities into the time appropriate for only one… every time we need to make a choice between two important items and can implement only one.
Rule/guideline #1 – Prioritize: Put First Things First
And it goes like this… You are First. It should go without saying, but if you are not healthy, if your condition is such that you cannot take full advantage of the opportunities that life offers you – to travel, to play and recreate, to experience first-hand the wonders of nature, to share activities with your friends and loved ones, to participate in your hobbies and express your passions, then you MUST reprioritize your life and put yourself and your health first.
I am sorry, but this one is not negotiable… If you cannot do this, you cannot make the Journey.
Someone once told me that they thought that this rule was establishing a right to be selfish. It sure sounds like it: ‘I am First.’ Sounds self-centered, selfish, maybe even conceited.
I disagree. I think weighing 400+ pounds is an ultimate act of self-centered, selfish conceited if there ever was one. Think about it, as a 400+ pound person you made everyone adjust around your condition… you always got the front seat in the car because it was easier to get in and out of and had more room. You always get the aisle seat at the theater for the same reasons. Your clothes cost more at the Big & Tall store, you wear out your side of the bed faster than a normal sized body. You create worry and fear in the minds of your friends and family because of your weight… your wife and children worry about losing their husband/father to a heart attack or stroke because of your condition. You seem to sleep through the snoring and sleep apnea grunts, but others in your house must listen to it all night long. What a horrible self-centered person you are… someone who obviously puts the concerns, needs, worries, and fears of others way behind is own wants and needs. You’re a jerk.
This rule does not authorize or legitimize a right to be selfish, it in fact it mandates that you get those self-centered issues under control and out of your being before you move forward with WLS and the Journey to a New Life. It mandates that you look at your life and make some decisions about what you really want and prioritize your time and energies accordingly.
- You say family comes first, but your actions suggest otherwise (work hours, travel, distractions).
- You say you like ‘simple’ things but continue to buy bigger and newer ‘stuff.’
- You say you’d like to ‘give back’ but you don’t donate your money or volunteer your time anywhere.
You can no longer claim benefit from both sides of the problem – behaving in a self-centered manner (weighing 400+ pounds), all the while professing that you put your family (or your job, or…) ahead of yourself. When in reality you fail both yourself and your family (or job, etc).
There is a TV commercial for an investment firm that asks the question: “If you could get paid to do something you really love, what would you do?” The best answer I could think of was that I’d like my job to be: Me! – the improvement of me, the betterment of me, to be the best that I can be. And there is someone who can and will pay me to do that… (again) Me! I’ll pay for it with my time, my energy, and dedication to implementing my Journey to Fitness.
- The How and the Why
In Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, the author makes the point that “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” Meaning, to increase your likelihood of success in weight loss and proper nutrition, something that although Simple in concept is not Easy to implement, have clearly and strongly in your mind just Why you are making these changes, then the How will become easier to accomplish.
I will focus on four reasons Why:
Personal Appearance: I want to:
Look better naked!
Wear a swim suit on the beach
Have my clothes fit better
Dress for Success
Friends, Family and Social Life: I want to:
Keep up with my friends
Play and be active with my kids
Stick around to see my grandkids grow up
Travel the world in health and comfort
Health & Fitness & Adventure: I want to:
Bring down my cholesterol
Look, feel and be stronger
Get back into playing sports, Run a 5k
Ski, hike, camp, bike, play tennis
Everyday Situations: I want to:
Fit into airplane, movie, theater seats
Have people ask if I have lost weight
Prove to myself that I can do it.
These are the four ‘motivational’ posters that I made for myself. I hung them in my closet, my bathroom, my office and my bedroom to remind me of my goals… and my mission to take care of myself first.
In combining these WHY’s with the Priority of putting Me first, the HOW’s of weight loss and proper nutrition became a bit more bearable and easier, increasing my chances of success.
Rule/Guideline #2 – Fri June 20
Rule/Guideline #3 – Tue June 24
Rule/Guideline #4 – Thu June 26
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